Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Sports days and fairness

My son's school sports day. Every parent knows that, what the spring and winter equinox were to our ancient ancestors, the navitity play and sports day are for us. Of course, it has that terrible sense for me of being the last I'll attend, in all probability. Strange to think of it...made even more so by the fact that he's still ignorant of the fact that I'm dying.
I love being a dad. Perhaps because it too such a long time and was fraught with difficulties, I did so appreciate my son when he came along. And we've built so a great relationship. The thought of the heartbreak he'll have to go through is still devastating for me. I feel guilty at leaving him alone no matter how much I tell myself that it's entirley outside my control. I worry about the emotional consequences for him, the financial implications for him and his mum, the whole thing..
Seven is still so very little to have this dumped on your plate.
Still, he got 2 medals - a 2nd and a 3rd - the sun shone and it was a beautiful day. Trying to take some consolation.
Chemo tomorrow so I'll let you all know what happens.



Blogger Tim Footman said...

This post really choked me up, Brian, god alone knows what it did to you.

What did he get the medals for? Was it proper Olympicky stuff, or eggy-spoony things? I think the only sports day award I got was a consolation prize for coming last in the sack race when I was six. I hadn't realised you were allowed to shuffle. I jumped and fell over. Lots.

June 1, 2007 at 7:21 PM  
Blogger Paul the ferryman said...


Really touching stuff. You all deserve gold medals for your bravery and fortitude. Hope your chemo goes ok.

June 2, 2007 at 7:13 AM  
Blogger Robert said...

Hi Brian -

Good to see you're back!

Did you know that parents of young children have, statistically, an incredibly better chance of surviving serious accidents/illnesses? Those who study these things theorise that this is nature's way of assisting the survival of the species. Psychologists suggest that parents of young children have a different mindset and/or more to live for than others (e.g. the elderly). Whatever the explanation, don't give up hope just yet!

Still rooting for you...


June 6, 2007 at 1:17 PM  

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