Monday, June 18, 2007

It shouldn't hurt but it does...

Fathers Day. Hey, we all know it means nothing, that it's just a scam invented by the greeting cards industry, don't we? So how come it can still hurt so much? Losing my wife and little boy is just still such a painful topic for me. So much so that I can't even talk about without being reduced to uncontrollable sobbing. I cannot speak with crying. And, stupid tho' it is, Fathers Day is just one of those occasions that reminds me what I'm losing. Also, my wife had bought me a present for my son to give me, way back before I was diagnosed. It was a pair of new shoes as I like walking so much. With my boy knowing about them, they had to be given to me. Yet they were a reminder that, not that long ago, we were looking forward to a future. Shoes are a present for the future, they're to last months and years, they speak of a belief in longevity. In a way, those shoes were beamed in from what seems to me now to be another world, where death was a distant possibility not an ever-present reality. And that world is gone.
Still, I got breakfast in bed and my favourite roast chicken dinner made for me! So whey-hey...there's something to be said for it. Plus a great card made by my wee man.
Anyway, catch up with y'all soon.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes.. I know how it feels.. But sometimes we should just hold on to the thought that everything will be okay.. In time.. :(
God Bless you..

June 18, 2007 at 2:30 AM  

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