Thursday, July 12, 2007

So, where was I?

Sorry about the relative lack of posts. I felt sort of ill this week and this made me a little blue. When that happens I have to fight off the black dog. See, most of the time I'm pretty cheery and stuff but, let's face it, I wouldn't be human if I didn't get down. At times like that, it's easy to be sucked into a kind of what's-the-point-I'm-dying-anyway nihilism. Even with this blog, you start to wonder if anyone other than than a few old faithfuls along with family and friends are reading. Chris Valance from the BBC sent me one of those counter tools but, eveytime I try to install it, I make some mistake and the thing fails to install. However, the last day or so have seen an improvement in my physical and mental health and, this week, while still taking the new drug, I'm on a break from chemo so that might help as well.
Loading stacks of stuff onto my mp3 player in anticipation of the time - however distant - when reading etc will be denied to me. Just finished King Curtis Live at the Filmore West and am now putting on some Neil Young and Crazy Horse.
Anyway, take care of yourselves, whoever you are.

Smell you later


Blogger stephani said...

What is the use? Well, funny enough, I started reading your blog just this weekend. What a tremendous help it is to me, as I wait to see if I do have pancreatic cancer, or if it is the chronic variety. Also 45, married 25 years, 6 kids, professional. Scared to death. Your brutal honesty has been such a help. I check your blog daily and think of you often. I also have downloaded an entire set of music for when I feel I can't breathe from the fear. It helps.Good for you that you can work from home-i've been out 3 months and counting..Will not say "keep your head up".. just try to breathe through the panic and know there are more people reading than you can imagine.

July 12, 2007 at 5:57 AM  
Blogger MattM76 said...

Always here, always reading...

I subscribe to your RSS feed so I know the instant, nay, the very second that you make a new post.

July 12, 2007 at 7:10 AM  
Blogger JON DOWNES said...

I read it regularly. 47, manic depressive, and find your blog both brave and life-affirming. So we are out here..

July 12, 2007 at 8:45 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

Thanks you lot. mattm76 has been there from the start and so deserves some kind of medal. Jon, you look like just the guy to dig some Lynyrd Skynyrd with. As for Stephani, I'm humbled that you've found it a help. Here's hoping your diagnisis is a good one. Let me know. IN the meantime, you're in my thoughts and those, I'm sure, of the other people here.

July 13, 2007 at 6:50 AM  
Blogger Lisa Breslin said...

I'm reading too. Your strength is an inspiration, keep writing when you can.

July 13, 2007 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger Charles Frith said...

Still here!

July 15, 2007 at 11:49 AM  
Blogger Craphammer said...

Hey, Captain.

A lot of us are out here. Far more than likely every comment, if we can trust the trends elsewhere.

And to comment here is to deal with things most of us prefer to imagine will never occur. Even though we know this is false and cheats us of the moments we have.

July 17, 2007 at 7:00 AM  
Blogger Nowhere Girl said...

I'm always reading too, though, like many, I don't comment enough. But you are in my thoughts and prayers.

July 18, 2007 at 5:55 PM  

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